Hey lovelies~
Ok so this week so far has been a total failure because J. sat me down two days in a row and made me eat. And I think she's caught on about my ed. Ana tells me to avoid her at all costs and that if she were a good friend she would want me to be happy, but of course that's too selfish. And besides, I do want to be a good friend and I realise that's something I can't do while my eating disorder is still ongoing.
So I have come to a compromise; I will eat like a normal person as much as I can for two weeks, you know, just give it a shot. And just maybe I'll be ready to move on from there? I don't know and I want to cry (yes, I am on the train on my way to school) because I'm so terrified of the monsters that appear once I start eating again.
So it's going to be a really rough fortnight, and I hope I make it through two weeks alive. TT_TT I really don't know what's going to happen after that.
Love,
Lindariel.
No comments:
Post a Comment