Boys. One Word Says it All!

I'm angry with a boy in my class. >:( We were discussing Singapore's aging population and falling fertility rate in Chinese and our teacher asked us if we wanted to marry, and have children in the future. So J says he wants a wife, but not children. Teacher asked what if his wife wanted children. How did J respond? "Divorce her!" I got so angry. Divorce isn't a matter to joke around about! Yes, I know he was just horsing around wasn't being serious, but still! Insensitive, unthinking idiot!

Of course it doesn't help that my parents are separated. I wish he'd think about who he could hurt with that careless, even callous statement. Well I just swallowed and sucked it up. No point bringing it up; everyone would just think I'm being oh-so-girlishly-weak. Yes, I know I'm weak and emotional and stupidly sentimental, but I don't have to show it. I need to be strong, I must not let anything show, I need to be thin.

Only then will I be strong, and perfect.

Lindariel

I'm back! (After a very long and cowardly hiatus >_< )

Hello guys,

I'm so awfully sorry that I haven't posted for almost three months! I did get home in January, but I have been adjusting to my new school, new classmates, etc., plus I gained a total of 2.5 kg while MIA, and I just didn't feel confident enough to do anything T_T I'll have to re-establish myself in the Ana forum xD and stuff, but for the meanwhile here are some updates!

I just started grade 11 in a new-but-not-that-new school. I say that because everyone from my secondary school moved up and into the co-ed junior college. So I still have all my friends around me. Yay! ^_^ But I have a different class now, of course. And an orientation group. Who thinks I am weird because I happen to venerate Mozart and Schubert, and don't have enough cash to go out with them constantly.

And... ... (Drumroll plz *_*) I am in the band! :D huzzah! I used to play the euphonium in elementary school (hey I was pretty good if I may say so! I used to play all the high notes then!) so I joined the band in hope that I can pick it up again and what do I find? I'm rusty. -_- well, like duh, and I know it will take me a long, long time to get back to where I used lot be. T_T To top that off, my section leader doesn't want me in the section - and very understandably so! What's more is that T. isn't the subtlest person in the world. So I got so stressed, that I requested out of eupho, and so now I'm learning double bass! :D Like how totally cool is that. ^_^ well, the original plan was to join percussion, but there are too many percussionists. So I'm stuck with eupho and double bass at the same time. Well serves me right for chickening out there! TT_TT

So far I've been skipping breakfast regularly, and I've been escaping lunch by staying at the study area and doing tutorials while everyone else is pigging out xD by the way, my weight is back under 40 kg, but just barely! I want to cut out dinner too, but I have to go home and eat T^T

Happy skinny weekend everybody,
Lindariel :)

... And I'm going away again. ._.

Ok my flight is on Saturday, early morning. Bye-bye darlings and continue getting skinnier without me as my family feeds me and gets more fats on these already fatty bones! D:

But in all honesty I can't say I'm not going to enjoy myself. Hiking, skating, my birthday (and therefore presents! ;) ), no Math, ahhh, the life. ;) see ya in January! :) and happy early Christmas, and New Year! <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="">
Happy holidays,
Lindariel

I'm Back!

Hi guys! I'm back!

And an entire kg heavier T_T I'm planning to do my standard 9pm to 6pm fast this week, all 5 days... AAARRGHH I FEEL SO FAT.

Will... must.... get thinner... thinner...

One Day More

Going to my BFF's house for a sleepover tomorrow! :D Really excited~ ^^ Will have to eat :P Her grandma is obsessed with feeding A and I :P My friend told her grandma we were going to stay a couple of days and apparently her first reaction was "Oh those girls who eat very little!" :P On the plus side, none of us eat a lot/snack a lot so it won't be awkward having to refuse snacks  :)

~ Gotta go pack now ^^

<3 Lindariel

Irritated With Myself and More

I'm so irritated!! I was feeling light-headed so I drank a cup of tea. And then I was STILL feeling woozy so I ate 6 cream crackers. Followed by 8 coffee biscuits, two slices of honeydew, a slice of cheese and an orange. Where has my self-control gone!! On the bright side, I didn't eat dinner and I stopped myself before I went on a full-out binge.

And kind of half-half, is that mum's mad at me. Sad face. So she's decided not to cook for me. Happy face lol. So I have an excuse not to eat tomorrow! :D What's more if I play it properly and act as thoroughly pissed as I am now (when I'm irritated I just turn into a literalist and ignore people to make THEM more pissed) she might just forgive me tomorrow haha.

In any case I honestly feel like moving out now, just, like ANYWHERE. Then it occurs to me that the only other place I have to stay is my dad's and NO WAY am I going there. Oh, jeez. ._.

Lindariel

P/S: Painting my right fingernails light beige/pink. ._.

Why. :(

Ahh crap I feel so weak x( Can't even keep to a one day water fast! x( Been feeling very light-headed and it's ONLY HALF PAST TEN IN THE MORNING. Meeeh I'll go have a cup of qpple tea sweetened with splenda x( Gah why do I have to have low blood sugar problems!

Lindariel

Living The Life :)

(This was supposed to be posted yesterday but my Internet was switched off =,=)

Finished Chinese 'Os today :D Went to Chinatown to get more yarn for crochet. Sleepover in four days. Crap. Gotta have two scarves ready by then. Crap. //stitch, stitch, stitch like a G6~// Haha!

Had half a bowl of ice kacang today, as well as 200 cals of peanut butter x_x but I had really little for dinner so I'm not inconsolably upset with myself :P

Anyway I'm fasting tomorrow! :D Water only fast, from today 9pm to Friday 6pm. That's 45 hours. I hope I can do it!! :S The last time I fasted I binged once the fast ended xP I hope I don't do that again ackkk.

Meanwhile I sit with crochet in my lap, Les Miserables & Phantom of the Opera playing from my iPod :D ok back to crocheting :D

Good news :)

OH my goodness WOOHOO

I was planning to go shopping today at a thrift store or two, to find some nice things, and I wanted to wear this green skirt I don't wear that often. So I take it out of my closet and GUESS WHAT it's too small for me!! :D In June I could fit perfectly into it, in August I noticed it was getting bigger, so I took in the waist. By more than was needed at the time. I had to do an emergency nip-and-tuck: Not on me, but on my skirt! Hurray! 

Still going shopping. :) Once I finish my daily workout. :)

Lindariel

More Stuff

Wooh I love it when it rains in the morning and it's nice and cool the whole day :) (Well I hope so anyway). Just cheated on my diet plan erk and ate an entire dried mango ._. What's with me and mango. Oh well at least it's not What's with me and cake. Because I discovered that mango is a good cake-craving substitute. :D Haha I was at Clementi mall the other day and craving cake, so I went downstairs to stare at cake (Yeah I came THAT close to bingeing ><) when I saw a fruit stall and I went YES SAVE ME PLEASE and bought some mango :D

I've reached a decision: I'm leaving for New York on the 24th, and I'm scared of the cold :S I've already been feeling it here in Singapore and the temperature is OH COME ON 26 DEGREES :( That's the one thing I don't completely love about the Ana lifestyle. Even though it helps so much with my depression. So I'll starve this week, and starting from next week with the sleep-over and the school dinner and all, I'll eat normally and stuff so that I'll gain back a bit of weight and hopefully not feel the chill as much. My mum's noticed, I think. Yesterday she hugged me and went omg your hands are so cold YOUR BODY IS SO COLD WHY ARE YOU SO COLD and I just kind of pooh-poohed it and said that I'm always rather cold (thalassemia, you see. Gives me a lower body temp. Around 36 degrees, almost an entire degree lower than most other people.) but she gave me this queer look.

Anyway it's going to be nigh impossible to hide the fact that I am not eating from like, 3 overly-concerned adults with no sense of privacy (cultural reasons. Quite understandable actually.) so yeah. No other option about it I guess? :P What I'm more worried about is actually the cold. Oh well. Will post about that when I get there and hopefully :P it won't be too cold until I've got a layer of insulation haha :P Eek I feel so bad. Gotta look at it from a scientific point of view I guess.

In any case I hope there will be a heavy snowfall of sorts when I'm there, so that I can help shovel snow (burns cals like HELL [omg haha irony xD] and keeps me warm too. I never realised what warm work shovelling snow was until we got stuck in 5-foot drifts two Christmases ago. (Remember the Christmas Blizzard anyone? :D) and my family enjoys hiking and the like activities so I guess it won't be too bad.

And I love the people on the forum. <3

Lindariel :)

P/S: OMG YESSS I just weighed in. 38.5kg :D I had rather been dreading weighing in because I haven't really been doing anything much for the past few days, just sitting around and being addicted to the forum lol xD Ok now I am going to clear up my corner of the flat, holy mess it has become :D And I shouldn't become too complacent or I'll end up rewarding myself with food x_x oh gosh it's so dumb.